Three Years of Class Participation!
Hi friends!
I actually cannot believe that this extremely dumb, extremely-fun-to-write blog has been around for almost 3 years.
At the risk of stating the obvious, a lot has changed since May 2019. When I started writing this newsletter, I was 23 and just starting out as an adult in a pre-pandemic world. Now I’m 26, we’re two years out from the first lockdown in my area of the world, and, well, you know the rest.
On top of everything that’s happened on the global and national stage, like many people, I’ve also had bad surprises, disappointments, and causes for grief that were unique to me - a series of events that can perhaps best be described collectively as life punching you in the throat for no reason.
This isn’t to minimize how incredibly lucky I’ve been (extremely lucky) or how grateful I am for the life that I have (extremely grateful). But it would be wrong to say that everything is fine and nothing has changed. Things are not really fine, and a lot has changed.
Sometimes I sit down to write this newsletter and I’m like, “Comedy? In this economy??” Especially now that I truly understand that you just never know what someone else is going through, or what they’ve experienced.
That being said, getting closer to the fragility and preciousness of life has also made me, if anything, MORE stubbornly devoted to slacking off, goofing off, and generally having a good time- though that might be hard for other people to tell, because my already dry sense of humor has drifted slowly but steadily into April Ludgate-levels of deadpan.
So I wanted to celebrate, at least in a small way, 3 years writing this newsletter with a quick roundup of what I consider to be its Greatest Hits. If you have the time, I would love to hear which ones you liked the most.
As always, thank you so much for reading. And thanks so much to everyone who’s written me an email, or sent me a text, letting me know which pieces made you laugh. Those messages always make my whole week. Let me know what you’d like to see more of in the coming year, too - I’m really curious to know.
Without Further Ado: The Best of Class Participation (So Far) (In My Opinion) (With Annotations)
The Pros And Cons of Quitting Coffee
Update: I did try oat milk and it’s actually quite good. Tentacles haven’t shrunk, though.
Zoom Announces New Filter That Makes You Look Like a Dude
My goal with this one was to write something that could conceivably be in Reductress, you know, maybe one day (*looks directly at camera*).
Studies Show Your Woman Body is Up To Something
‘Effing moon magic.
I’m still quite proud of the “four least attractive boats” joke.
How to Tell If You’ve Married Into a Gothic Romance Situation
This is one of the (several) pieces on Class Participation that was heavily inspired by The Toast (RIP).
Life Hack: Submit Your Conscious Mind to Kombucha
This one prompted my godmother to email me saying “are you okay??” which I think means it was a success (love you, M!!)
Why Cantaloupe is the Worst Fruit
I originally wrote this in Google Slide format for a 3-Minute Powerpoint Party in college, and as I told a friend at the time, it was leagues better than my undergraduate thesis. That was also what inspired me to start this newsletter!
All The Facebook Comments Under Every Article About Paid Family Leave
Another The Toast - inspired piece.
Possible Responses to “You’re Not Like Other Girls”
I think I may have unknowingly stolen the “Svelna” joke from tumblr - or it was told to me by Svelna herself in a dream.
I think a lot of people didn’t quite get this one because it wasn’t clear that I was pretending to be the U.S. government, responding to a real news article with the headline “Why Does The US Army Own So Many Fossils?” but I am convinced that if you have that context, this GRAVE misunderstanding will be corrected - and you will all appreciate this for being hilarious, of course.