Things People Will Say About My Ghost

“Sometimes, in the middle of the night, you can catch a glimpse of her lurking in the kitchen, making fussy French press coffee. And then the next morning your sink will be clogged with wet coffee grounds!”

“Oh, have you heard this one? Sometimes, once in a blue moon, you can still see the glow of her laptop at night. I saw it once, and then the next day my YouTube recommendations were all sewing videos. I swear!”

“Oh, that’s nothing. I heard that she will stalk innocent passersby on the street in the dead of night, wait until they are totally alone, and then jump right in front of them! 

And then she’ll open her mouth wide and scream: ‘DID YOU KNOW THAT THE KITTY GENOVESE CASE WAS ACTUALLY WILDLY MISREPRESENTED IN THE MEDIA!!’”

“See, I knew she was haunting us because we kept seeing horrible clusters of long brown hair everywhere, and our baked goods were always half-eaten!”

“A priest told us we could banish her by going out to her grave and circling it seven times while saying, ‘This is more of a comment than a question’. We decided to let her stay, though, because she does actually make pretty good playlists.” 

p.s. I’m taking the month of November off to do NaNoWriMo - see you soon! I hope your Halloween is nice and ghost-free.