Why cantaloupe is the worst fruit

know the facts, stay safe

1. Studies show, “you just put it in a fruit salad and hope for the best"

2. Not even sweet, really

3. Probably poisonous

4. There are so many good fruits, why are you wasting your life

5. “Hard to spell”— Catnalope Weekly

6. Try one of these other, easy-to-spell fruits:

   • apple

   • melon

   • blueberries

   • cheetos

   • grapes

7. Researchers say, “it looks too much like squash, and squash is the cantaloupe of the vegetable world”

8. 60% of cantaloupe eaters say “the seeds” made them uncomfortable

9. 100% of cantaloupe eaters die

10. It is literally impossible to spell cattaloupe

11. If you can spell catalope without looking I will give you my first born

12. Catnalope

13. Cantalarp

14. “It’s the uncooked potato of the fruit world”- resident cantalupe expert

15. Scientists do say cantaloupe is safe to consume in the following forms:

    • with a f*ckton of honey on it

    • in a smoothie if the smoothie is mostly made of not cantaloupe

    • it’s the only vegan thing at this work event

16. Finally, beware the agents of cantaloupe”

    • '“I actually like cantaloupe”

    • “I think it tastes good”

    • “Stop asking me about cantaloupe”

    • “Why are you like this?”

    • Know the signs!!

    Remember, it’s CANT-a-loupe, not CAN-a-loupe!