Thoughts I Had Watching The Star Wars Prequels (Part 2)

time for clones to attack!

Welcome back! This is the installment that I am most confident I have never seen, so this should be a good time.

Spoilers ahead for Episode II: Attack of the Clones!

  1. I see they massively scaled down the amount of Jar-Jar Binks in this one. 

  2. Obi - Wan must have a devoted following of politicians and diplomats trying to tempt him out of his chastity vows. 

  3. Wait, do Jedi have to be celibate or are they just not allowed to get married? This is important.  

  4. A realistic teenage Padme would definitely be like “I want Obi-Wan, the handsome and chivalrous Jedi Knight, to protect me. Not this overgrown bean stalk with a temper, no offense.” 

  5. Okay, that’s the last time I’ll talk about how hot Obi - Wan is, I promise. 

  6. WOW he really just straight up jumped out the window, what a champion. 

  7. No wonder Anakin doesn’t really listen to anything he says… sorry Obi-Wan.

  8. Are Jedi allowed to drink?

  9. That actually seems like something they should be discouraged from doing, given that they can crush people with their minds. 

  10. Anakin, you’re coming on way too strong, bud. You need to pump the brakes a little. Be cool. 

  11. I’m genuinely impressed with Padme’s diplomacy skills.

  12. She’s handling Anakin with a lot more tact than I probably would.

  13. I think Jedi teens should be allowed to have, like, a Rumspringa, where they run off and catch all the feelings and learn how to flirt and stuff. Because otherwise you get… this situation. 

  14. Yes! Way to set good boundaries and assert yourself, Padme!

  15. I’m kind of rooting for these guys even though they’re a hot mess express. 

  16. I do think their relationship is making a bit more sense as the film goes on, like, I think you can read it as Padme being also kind of sheltered and inexperienced with love, so she’s attracted to Anakin’s intense feelings and ~darkness~ and the secrecy and intrigue of it.

  17. I’m realizing that I’m mostly skirting over the whole ‘clone army’ part to talk about the romance, but listen, okay?

  18. Maybe they covered this and I just forgot, but, does Padme have parents or friends or anything? Anyone to sort of … monitor this situation?

  19. R2D2 is the most competent member of this team. I would let R2D2 watch my kids.

  20. I’m glad Anakin’s mom got like, roughly ten minutes of happiness in her life before being kidnapped and murdered. 

  21. Anakin: “I wiped out an entire settlement of sand people, I feel terrible.” Padme: “It’s okay sweetie, we’ve all been there”

  22. Oh hey, it’s Count Dooku - the guy they mentioned once in the beginning and then not again for another 40 minutes. 

  23. Yet another amazing outfit by Padme.  

  24. This is actually a really sweet declaration of love. Natalie Portman is a good actor.

  25. Ohhhhh nooooo! I feel terrible for tiny Boba Fett! Someone needs to look after that kid, but I have a feeling he’s going to be on his own.

  26. Hmmmmmmmm the clones’ armor sure does remind me of… something… I can’t place it… maybe it will come to me 

  27. Okay it is just like them to get secretly married (!) instead of using Padme’s considerable resources to carry on an affair.

  28. I wonder if the filmmakers thought it was too scandalous to have them get pregnant out of wedlock??

  29. Yoda’s like, this is not a happy ending, you ignorant jerks, there’s a war on, which I have already named.

Oooo, there’s some good tension at the end of this one! Things are a little unsettled, a little unresolved. I’m into it. See you next time for Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.