Things I'm Tempted to Say to Troll Overly Competitive Parents at the Playground
Oh, we actually don’t believe in reading.
It’s hard, but we try to make sure he gets at least 70 grams of sugar a day.
Yep, we weaned about a month ago - now he drinks unpasteurized egg nog.
Oh, yeah, he started walking at around 2 months.
He has dropped down to one nap - or, I suppose more accurately, he combined all of them. He actually naps 6 hours a day now and I just get my nails done and go to the pool.
Wow! Your kid knows so many words! Ours used to talk a lot but now we communicate telepathically.
Oh, you’re cosleeping? That’s so lovely. My son actually crawls back into the womb at night. It’s a little embarrassing, but what can you do?
Sorry, we should probably get back! If we’re late for toddler pre-calc they charge a $200 convenience fee.
I really like that you trolled in both directions. Both more lax AND higher achieving. Presumably there are bonus points for hitting both ends of the spectrum in one interrogation session, right?