Honest out-of-office messages

for days when you just cannot

Hello, 

Thank you for your message. I am no longer responding to email, for secret reasons.

Sincerely, 

ER


Hello, 

Thank you for your message. I’m currently away from my desk because it is over my head and I am hiding under it. If your request is urgent, please contact my colleagues, if you can find them.

Take care, 

ER


Hello,

Thank you for your message. I will be away from my desk until the heat death of the universe.

If your request is urgent, please work it out.

Best wishes,

ER


Hello, 

Thank you for your message. I am no longer responding to email or phone calls. If your request is urgent, come find me at my office hours on the beach between midnight and 3 AM every half-moon.

Attire is formal. 

Regards, 

ER


Hello, 

Thank you for your message.

Cheers, 

ER