Honest out-of-office messages

for days when you just cannot

Hello, 

Thank you for your message. I am no longer responding to email, for secret reasons.

Sincerely, 

ER

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Hello, 

Thank you for your message. I’m currently away from my desk because it is over my head and I am hiding under it. If your request is urgent, please contact my colleagues, if you can find them.

Take care, 

ER

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Hello,

Thank you for your message. I will be away from my desk until the heat death of the universe.

If your request is urgent, please work it out.

Best wishes,

ER

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Hello, 

Thank you for your message. I am no longer responding to email or phone calls. If your request is urgent, come find me at my office hours on the beach between midnight and 3 AM every half-moon.

Attire is formal. 

Regards, 

ER

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Hello, 

Thank you for your message.

Cheers, 

ER

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